• I can’t follow guys on Twitter who supposedly think I’m great and want to date me only to admit they “just started dating” someone and then go ahead and tweet shit like “Twitter official?”
• I can’t watch the new (recently concluded) season of Californication because while I was busy NOT watching Season 5, I was busy with guy drama: instead of being Hank, I was occupied with trying my hand at the cool & casual partner, a la Hank’s Carrie. (I lied about NOT watching this season, I watched 5 episodes after work tonight.)
• Another OKC first date tomorrow. Fine dining guy who is off Monday and Tuesdays. Like that is going to work.
• Regarding above OKC date, he’s in Humboldt, I’m in Logan, both along California. Finding a place to go ~10pm on a Tuesday where I won’t run into anyone I know will be a challenge. Guess that means we’ll have to meet in Humboldt.
• I’ve built up my personal “brand” pretty damn well over the past 4 years, it comes naturally to me. So you’d think I wouldn’t be surprised when guys say they aren’t sure they can keep up with me (based on said public personality). UM, HI! I GO OUT BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE TO STAY IN WITH. I will cook and watch movies and lay in bed with you until my friends are forced to organize a search party. I go out because I’m bored. And because I have friends that will buy me drinks.
• That being said, I am certainly happy to have met lots of wonderful people via Twitter and my job and I am not fake: I am social and I drink and I am really fucking busy. I just might be a little more shy IRL.
• It’s May, we’re almost halfway through 2012. Where does the time go!

Some new revelations have me thinking first quarter was more effed up than I realized. While I was complaining about not getting laid enough, he was possibly banging, definitely fooling around with, someone else. While we were still “exclusive.” Totally grossed out.

Oh well. Live and learn.

Nothing like having two consecutive sex dreams about the person you’re sleeping next to, only to wake up and realize it ain’t gonna happen.

One reason this 3-month adventure is coming to a close.

If you, sir, are reading this: Oops! You were dating an internet girl who sometimes needs to air her dirty laundry. It’s therapeutic. And yes, I know you know I reactivated my OKCupid account the other day after I told you I could no longer date you exclusively. And you had never deactivated yours so don’t even try to hold it over my head.

Real-life dudes I was seeing and stopped talking to three months ago: hope you’re not all taken!

Back on the market just in time for Spring. That’s good… or something… right?

The above link is something of an abridged history of Trotter’s. And it got me thinking: why has the news of his decision to close the restaurant remained on my mind all week?

I wasn’t raised in a culinary family (Red Lobster was fancy) but I’ve been aware of how the other half lives since a very young age. I grew up among the 1%. My young classmates went to Trotter’s with their families. It wasn’t until high school that I grasped the ridiculousness of that - kids going to Trotter’s? Is doesn’t make sense, almost as if I created this memory, but regardless, Charlie Trotter has been a name I’ve recognized since too young of an age.

In high school, I poured over the restaurant reviews in Chicago Magazine (parents subscribed) and Chicago Social (comped subscription because our zip code was their advertiser’s target market). I read of amazing meals and imagined the well-heeled in beautiful dining rooms dropping more money on a bottle of wine than I made in a month (between babysitting and being an office assistant). So the few culinary experiences I’ve enjoyed in life have left their mark.

During winter break of my sophomore year in high school (‘97/’98), I remember my friend’s dad treating us to Topo Gigio in Old Town (before Second City) and it being the most expensive menu I had laid eyes on (remember: Red Lobster was fancy). Pretty sure I ordered the cheapest pasta dish. What a polite 14 year old I was.

Sophomore and junior year we dined at Bistro 110 before the spring formal. Senior year, a guy in our group was part of a “culinary family” so we dined at their Japanese restaurant overlooking the Mag Mile. I knew I was spoiled. I knew this wasn’t normal.

Towards the end of my first semester at college, a large check from the university showed up in my dorm mailbox. I had received a $1000 scholarship from UIUC’s art school based on my portfolio and here was the first half for the year. After a little celebratory thrifting we went to Bacaro, which had just opened in downtown Champaign to rave reviews. It was modern & as close to fine dining as you were going to find in Central Illinois in 2001. I showed up wearing jeans, gym shoes and my red down vest (a winter wardrobe staple). Then I enjoyed my first risotto.

I tried dating a chef when I was 19. I was living in Urbana. He had just moved back to Chicago after graduating from the CIA in NYC. It was a task. It didn’t work out. But I think all I really ever wanted was for him to cook for me. To watch a professional. Now he is heading kitchens on the East Coast. It’s funny seeing his name on GrubStreet.

It was the summer of my 23rd birthday and my boyfriend announced he had a huge surprise for me. He was taking me out for a meal neither of us would forget. And then he tried to make me guess the restaurant. I ran through the list of all the places we had talked about (but I never imagined us actually finding enough money to go). Everest? No. Spiaggia? No. Arun’s? No. I demanded he tell me because I needed to know how to dress. So he let it out: Tru. I think I screamed. We went. It was fabulous. I still remember the soup course. And we made plans to go check out a new fancy restaurant once a month. Of course that never happened. But it’s the idea that counts, right?

I’m 28 now and still not in the financial position to treat myself to $150 tasting menus, but old habits die hard (if at all) and I continue to follow the restaurant news, the buzz, the hype, the openings, and it’s totally masochistic. Being a “poor foodie” is really just being a glutton for punishment.

But maybe if I’m lucky and I pinch my pennies, maybe I’ll make it Trotter’s before this Chicago classic bids us farewell. Twelve year old Jess would be very pleased with that.

You shouldn’t need a new year to make promises to yourself that you will not keep. You can do that any day of the year! So instead of playing “lies Jess told herself,” let’s set some goals!

Out with the old //

• Update my iPod more often
• Otherwise I honestly don’t have any bad habits to break (seriously: I quit smoking in ‘06, found my dream job in ‘09, start working out in ‘11. All my other vices are perfectly acceptable.)

In with the new //

• Become a certified Cicerone (beer sommelier)
• Brew my own beer
• Learn basic bicycle repair
• Ride my bike to Kenosha
• Ride my bike to Three Floyd’s
• Host a vegan beer dinner
• Perfect my seitan recipe

Continue //

• Bike commuting (3 seasons)
• Reading two books a month
• Cooking vegan at home
• Drinking good beer with good people

Piece of cake, right?

Part of my ongoing quest to enjoy a plant-based diet means, duh, steering clear of meat and dairy. I have also stopped buying convenience foods: frozen meals (no more Lean Pockets for this gal), most processed foods (was never a big Velveeta fan anyways) and packaged soup (this tomato soup has become a mainstay). No big deal, it’s been easier than I could ever imagine (except when eating out, of course. Or when hungover). But that’s not to say it’s requires no effort. I have my pantry staples, I buy fresh veggies as needed but all this amounts to is eating a whole lot of the same thing (how much of my goddess bean salad can I really eat? A lot actually). This is when the glorious meal planning comes in. 

This week I figured I’d be eating four lunches and four dinners at home and two lunches at the brewery. I’m a fan of leftovers, lunch for dinner, breakfast anytime, etc., so this should be easy right? 

The usual suspects
tomato soup (awesome hot or cold)
buffalo “chicken” wraps
tofu-soyrizo scramble

Brewery favorites
chickpea cutlets
tofu-dill salad sandwiches

Something new
curried tempeh mango salad sandwiches
asparagus & sundried tomato frittata
chickpea salad wrap

I’m hungry just thinking about it.

I haven’t been around much these days. At least not on Tumblr. (However, Twitter shenanigans are constant). I think it’s an indication of how little I’m able to freely internet (the verb). Work is insane. It’s beer’s big season. Life is insane. It’s summer in Chicago. I feel like the insanity started with Chicago Craft Beer Week preparations (May) and hasn’t slowed down since. Case in point: 66 posts in April, 27 in May, 6 in June and July.

So what’s shakin’?

• Joined the Android revolution in June (and my Tumblr apps never want to work properly)
• Officially a bike commuter (every day since May, 13 miles round trip). It is quite possibly the most positive thing I have done for myself in years. It is my “me time,” my quiet time, my no distraction time, my workout time, and just overall very empowering. 
• I aquired a new bike a couple weeks ago, my friend’s old ride. It’s a road bike. My first, ever, in my life.  It’s light, fast and I love it. And just in time because my vintage Schwinn’s rear wheel died on my birthday (after July’s Critical Mass actually) and I don’t have money to replace it. However, I am saving up to winterize that vintage hybrid which will include a new wheelset.
• I’m currently in the middle of moving to Logan Square, into my best friend’s condo which has been my home-away-from-home for the past three years. It’s nestled between Revolution and Miko’s, there’s a headshop down the street and my favorite liquor store around the corner. T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
• Our scale says I weigh 20 pounds less than I did this spring. I think the scale is broken. Or maybe eating mostly vegan, working on my feet 4 days a week and riding my bike 70+ miles a week will do that to a girl?
• Beer fest season. Great Taste of the Midwest and Oak Park Micro Brew Review have passed. Next up: Screw City Brew Fest (Rockford, 9/10), Great Lakes Brew Fest (Racine, 9/17), Great American Beer Fest (Denver, 9/29-10/1). Not to mention other local events, tastings, parties and Oktoberfest season.
• And to shake things up, since I don’t already have enough on my plate, I’ll be diving back into some online dating. Mostly because I’m bored and not meeting new people through my current friends. A girl’s got needs, ya know?

Okay, I think I’m done talking about myself.

… for a lot of Jess-patting-herself-on-the-back-for-riding-her-bike. I mean, I ride my bike but I don’t commute on my bike often enough. It’s a 6.5 mile ride from my place in Ukie Village to the brewery in Ravenswood. It’s a very pleasant ride up Damen. Except for my archnemesis: that godawful bridge over the north branch of the Chicago River, where a gust of wind is always waiting to push me back. To a lot of people, daily bike commuting isn’t a big thing, but for me it’s a challenge and something I’ve always wanted to do. (I use my steel ‘72 Schwinn Suburban as an excuse too often: it’s too heavy for a commuter bike!)

So, yeah, I biked on Tuesday and Thursday. My goal is to communte by bike at least twice a week to start. Sounds easy, sure, but once it gets hot outside and the brewery becomes a 90 degree oven, you spend your day trying not to faint and not itching your heat rash. That’s when the ride becomes just a smidge less enjoyable. That’s when the bus or the car with it’s air conditioning becomes a treat you wait for all day. So I figure riding 25 miles a week, just to work, starting now will make it easier come July when the humidity and the glaring sun burn off my motivation.

So yeah. Twice a week. Announcing a goal on the internet means I’ll do it, right? (Not necessarily.)

Looking at my calendar, realizing I have commitments every day and night for the next two (plus) weeks, is both invigorating and terrifying. I suppose I thrive on a bustling life. When there’s no time for laundry and I forget to eat proper meals and my personal “to do” list becomes a sort of artifact where I look but do not touch. I’m not complaining. There is no cubicle. There are no waste-of-time office meetings. It’s kind of perfect.

And somehow I have not bitten my nails for a full five weeks (big deal!), I have suitors who have renewed my faith in (hu)manity, I’ve managed to go to plenty of shows, I made tomato soup from scratch twice in three days, I’ve lost some weight, I saw two really wonderful awesome out-of-town friends this weekend, I haven’t eaten out in weeks, and I’ll be “working out” tomorrow for the first time in four years as part of my continued effort to keep busy without spending money.

I don’t know where this was going. Just a rare wordy post I guess. Sometimes I need to hash it out and remind myself that I’ve been making “it” work for two years and the pros outweigh the cons, that I have the power to adapt to situations when for years I thought of myself as pretty rigid in my ways and had no faith in my ability to survive on as little as I do now.

If only I could get rid of that pesky little thing called “debt,” I’d be right as rain and totally free.

2009² + 2010² = 2011²

I don’t “do” New Year’s Resolutions and I don’t really track my days in a way where January 1 means anything. The trials and tribulations of daily life continue, fresh starts happen when you say they do, and personal goals are ongoing.

2009 was the beginning of something big for me.
2010 challenged me but I persevered.
2011 will be when things come full circle, or so I hope.

- 8 hours at FOBAB

- 6+ hours at Rob’s building party

- 1 hat lost

- 1 glove lost, later recovered

- 1 FOBAB program (with my notes!) lost

- 1 phone number exchange. Name? Dunno. What we talked about? (blank).

- 2 football games watched

- 1 movie watched (The Runaways)

- 70 miles driven (to/from Hannah’s house)

- unknown # of gallons of beer consumed

- details of countless conversations lost (drunk memory recall)

- 1 very tired Jess

Look out world! Its my turn for video embarrassment! And plugging Metro. Because thats what I do!